Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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