It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you win again, gameday.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
