But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
