i need an iv and a liver transplant
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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