she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
