4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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