if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
