so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She even gives head with a lisp.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
