My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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