Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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