Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
