I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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