also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He shit in the fireplace
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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