Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
