I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
