I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
