It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
