awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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