Whod you bang
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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