i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
