That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
