If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
