FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
