"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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