the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
