Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
