OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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