hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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