There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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