i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
A+ Viking dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
