i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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