so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
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