last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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