the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
