found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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