Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
