he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
