What did we do last night that was yellow?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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