Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
