I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so that wasnt chicken after all
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
