What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
