would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
