i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
