so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
