He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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