38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
