I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
