all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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