YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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