just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
