I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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