Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
