In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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