Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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